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Stupid Shit Blizzard Makes Me Do: Helping Racist Midgets

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Stupid Shit Blizzard Makes Me Do: Helping Racist Midgets

Sigrun Ironhew: “Oh no, we’re out of beer! This is a catastrophe! Hey, you, draenei!”

Me: “…me?”

Sigrun: “Yes! You’re one ‘o them do-gooders, ain’tcha?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, I guess.”

Sigrun: “Great! There’s a bunch of evil dwarves over the ridge. You should go kill them.”

Me: “Evil dwarves? How do I know you’re not evil too?”

Sigrun: “Because their skin’s black as coal. Black skin equals evil. Just look at Drow.”

Me: “Umm, I think you’re reading from the wrong canon…”

Sigrun: “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m with the Alliance, I wouldn’t steer ya wrong. So anyways, go kill a bunch of them evil black dwarves.”

Me: “Well, ok…”

Sigrun: “Oh, and while you’re at it, they got them some beer. Why don’t you do me a favor and bring their beer back here. No sense letting good ale go to waste.”

Me: “Wait. Are you asking me to murder a bunch of people so you can steal their booze?

Sigrun: “…”

Me: “…”

Sigrun: “…”

Me: “…”

Sigrun: “…no.”

Me: “Ok. You prefer cans or bottles?”

10 minutes later

Me: “Ok, here’s your beer. You sure those guys were evil? They just seemed to be minding their own business over at their digsite.”

Sigrun: “Oh, yeah, irredeemably evil.” Sigrun takes a deep draw from a mug of the freshly-procured ale. “Mmm… yeah… that’s what daddy needed.”

Me: “So, did they, like, jump your claim or something?”

Sigrun: “No, they didn’t. Actually, they were here first. Bastards stole all the good loot from the ruins when they opened up!

Me: “Wait, so then you’re the one jumping their–”

Sigrun: “I’ll give you more experience if you go steal the artifacts they found.”

Me: “So they were here first.”

Sigrun: “Yes.”

Me: “And they found the artifacts before you got here.”

Sigrun: “Mmhmm.”¬†Sigrun¬†nods.

Me: “And you want me to go steal the artifacts from them.”

Sigrun: “That’s about the long and short of it, yep.”

Me: “And it’s ok, because they’re evil dwarves.”

Sigrun: “Right.”

Me: “… God. Dammit.”

I head out to ‘liberate’ the artifact.

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